 There is no timeline for grief. I could actually stop this post here.
Grief doesn’t have a set timeline, or even a single timeline. There’s no list anywhere that says ‘you must feel like this on day six, like this on week four, and be over it after 12 months and three days’. Everyone grieves on a different timeline, and that timeline is normal for you. I think grieving lasts a lifetime. It is something that we as widows walk alongside. That doesn’t mean it will be as raw as it was in the early days. I am six years out and I still miss Tim. Grief is still there. But I have learned to see it as a quiet companion rather than a raw and bleeding wound.
2 Comments
Jane Hassinger
25/7/2024 17:10:06
I signed up for your blog some time ago but had no memory of doing it. Guess thatis a feature of early grief. My hiusband died almost 4 1/2 months ago, after a month of hospitce and after nearly 2 years of misdiagnosis (his pain was diagnosed for a long time as sciatica when actually it was bone pain from metastatic lung cancer, finally discovered when he fell down away from home, broke his femur and T1 & T2, followed by three months in a Phildadelphia hospital and rehab center. We are from Michigan so this meant I rented an apartment in Phillie for that period. I'm finding that grief is mingled with the trauma of that terribly period when he got sicker and sicker and we had the wrong diagnosis, Things were further complicated by big insurance problems and getting stuck in California over last Xmas (when we were visiting our daughter and family) when he developed pneumonia. It took everything I had to figure out a way to get him home, so he could die at home. After extraordinary battles with Kaiser and BCBS, I was finally able to bring him home via a med-evac jet. He died at home in hospice a six weeks later. Grieving was delayed by preparing for a large memorial (Marv was a much beloved fellow in our community) and a family wedding. For the last three weeks, I've been overcome with exhaustion, intense grief, and the feeling that I don't want and can't live this life.
Chris
25/7/2024 22:32:29
The grief dulls as time goes by. But I reached a point where I discovered I’ll never stop missing her but need to stop thinking so often of her as before. I’ll always have moments where I will still think about her but fewer times and grief subsides. Leave a Reply. |
AuthorI was widowed at 50 when Tim, who I expected would be my happy-ever-after following a marriage break-up, died suddenly from heart failure linked to his type 2 diabetes. Though we'd known each other since our early 20s, we'd been married less than ten years. Archives
October 2024
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