The Widow's Handbook: winner of the Helen Bailey Award 2022
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Things I’ve done since I became a widow. A list.

31/10/2024

1 Comment

 
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A while ago I posted a list of things I've learned as a widow. I've been thinking of the things I've done in the six years since I became a widow. Some good, some hard. Some bitter. But all part of who I have become. I wanted to show people that you can get through this, and that fellow widows can be a real lifesaver – they were for me.
​
Done CPR
Arranged a funeral
Developed PTSD symptoms
Discovered how fragile I am
Understood what loneliness really means
Remembered how incredible my family is
Found out how amazing my friends are – and not always the ones I expected
Thought the world would be better off without me
Had psychotherapy
Found out a lot about myself
Discovered how strong I can be
Got a tattoo (a semi-colon)
Gone cold water swimming
Reclaimed my life and my home
Created a blog, and learned to write out my grief
Completed an MA
Survived a pandemic
Met someone new
Learned that you can love more than one person
Come out
Got a dog
Moved to a new house and a new county
Performed my own work in a theatre
Learned that I will always grieve, and that grief is something that I will walk alongside – because he is part of me
Built a new life – and while it’s not the one I planned or the one I expected, it’s one where I have found joy
1 Comment
thurayya
5/2/2025 01:02:20

Hi there, this is complicated. I bought you 3 coffees on 1/1 this year. When I received my CC statement I did not recognise one of the transactions and I cancelled the card and reported the transaction as fraudulent. I had no connection to Buxton/Derbyshire or to Peak Words. I COMPLETELY forgot about buying you 3 coffees. I have never bought anyone an online coffee before. Today, having realised my error, I called my bank's fraud section and explained what had happened. So I hope that you will receive those coffees very soon. I feel terrible about this and sincerely hope I have not caused you any angst.
As you are not following me on X or bluesky I could not send you a private message. This was the only way I had of contacting you.

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    I was widowed at 50 when Tim, who I expected would be my happy-ever-after following a marriage break-up, died suddenly from heart failure linked to his type 2 diabetes. Though we'd known each other since our early 20s, we'd been married less than ten years. ​

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