About me
I've written since I could hold a crayon, and I am fortunate enough to be a writer by trade. After studying a biochemistry and pharmacology BSc, my tutor suggested that I look at writing as a career. I'm still not sure whether that's a compliment on my writing skills or a critique of my competency in the lab (undiagnosed ADHD does not necessarily lend itself to focused labwork). After 15 years of writing about drug development and healthcare, I went freelance in 2006. My writing since then has been nothing if not varied, including a science experiments website for children and pieces for Taiwanese teenagers learning English who now know about cheese rolling in Gloucestershire. I can pretty much write about anything given enough tea and chocolate.
I write fiction, sometimes tinged with science, and I've had short stories, monologues and poems published and performed. As part of my new life following widowhood, I went back to university to study for an MA in Writing for Performance.
I write fiction, sometimes tinged with science, and I've had short stories, monologues and poems published and performed. As part of my new life following widowhood, I went back to university to study for an MA in Writing for Performance.
The story of the Widow's Handbook
I was widowed at 50 when Tim, who I expected would be my happy-ever-after following a marriage break-up, died suddenly from heart failure linked to his type 2 diabetes. Though we'd known each other since our early 20s, we'd been married less than ten years.
When I was first widowed in 2018, I was fortunate to find the amazing charity Widowed and Young, and the subgroup WAYWOCs (Widowed and Young WithOut Children). I can honestly say that I couldn't have got through the past three and a half years without this incredible bunch of young widows, male and female, cis and trans, straight and queer. We have shared (virtually and face-to-face) our tragedies, our successes, our tears, our laughter, and any number of truly bad puns and Marmite-related comestibles.
There was a running joke about who had the latest copy of the Widow's Handbook. And so I thought - perhaps it's time to create the handbook. I don't have all of the answers, which is why I'm going to bring in some amazing widow contributors to share what they have learned on this route none of us chose, and this club that none of us wanted to ever have to join.
The aim of The Widow's Handbook is to provide practical help and resources for people who are widowed from the perspective of someone who gets it. It's also for those people who are around widows. It has allowed me to write about Tim, and has helped me to work through some of my grief.
You are a widow* and are welcome here if you have lost your partner.
Young or old or somewhere in between – you are a widow.
Committed to each other for a few months, or the whole of your life – you are a widow.
Living together or living apart – you are a widow.
Going through tough times when they died – you are a widow.
Queer or straight – you are a widow.
Cis, trans, non-binary, agender, gender-expansive, gender-fluid, intersex – you are a widow.
Childless, child-free, have children or have lost children – you are a widow.
In a traditional or a non-traditional relationship - you are a widow.
Got another partner or are dating, or haven't got another partner, don't want another partner or don't want a traditional relationship – you are a widow.
Days in or decades in – you are a widow.
*I use 'widow' as a non-gendered term
When I was first widowed in 2018, I was fortunate to find the amazing charity Widowed and Young, and the subgroup WAYWOCs (Widowed and Young WithOut Children). I can honestly say that I couldn't have got through the past three and a half years without this incredible bunch of young widows, male and female, cis and trans, straight and queer. We have shared (virtually and face-to-face) our tragedies, our successes, our tears, our laughter, and any number of truly bad puns and Marmite-related comestibles.
There was a running joke about who had the latest copy of the Widow's Handbook. And so I thought - perhaps it's time to create the handbook. I don't have all of the answers, which is why I'm going to bring in some amazing widow contributors to share what they have learned on this route none of us chose, and this club that none of us wanted to ever have to join.
The aim of The Widow's Handbook is to provide practical help and resources for people who are widowed from the perspective of someone who gets it. It's also for those people who are around widows. It has allowed me to write about Tim, and has helped me to work through some of my grief.
You are a widow* and are welcome here if you have lost your partner.
Young or old or somewhere in between – you are a widow.
Committed to each other for a few months, or the whole of your life – you are a widow.
Living together or living apart – you are a widow.
Going through tough times when they died – you are a widow.
Queer or straight – you are a widow.
Cis, trans, non-binary, agender, gender-expansive, gender-fluid, intersex – you are a widow.
Childless, child-free, have children or have lost children – you are a widow.
In a traditional or a non-traditional relationship - you are a widow.
Got another partner or are dating, or haven't got another partner, don't want another partner or don't want a traditional relationship – you are a widow.
Days in or decades in – you are a widow.
*I use 'widow' as a non-gendered term