Personal stories: A collection of real-life stories from widows
My story
Tim and I had a fairy story. We met in our early twenties at a youth prayer group. I had other commitments – a boyfriend called Paul – and Tim sighed gently, tucked the candle he held for me in his back pocket, and we became friends. We stayed friends through thick and thin. Through his troubled times. Through his diagnosis with type 2 diabetes and his hospital stay for a rather scary bout of acute pancreatitis. Through my marriage falling apart and my descent into depression. And finally, through my divorce.
Aimee's Story
I’m into year 8 of grief after suddenly losing Marky when I was 26. Marky’s death changed my sense of stability in this world and made my anxiety and panic huge. The world felt terrifying – bleak doesn’t even begin to describe it. For a long time, I barely left the house. Most days, my depression and agoraphobia anchored me to my bed. These days I no longer struggle with agoraphobia, and I even use my lived experience of it within my work.
Grief and transition: Losing Mandy and finding Maria
In February 2015, after seven years and two bouts of cancer, Mandy died. Over the following few years, her grieving spouse became able to claim their true self - Maria.
Loving Two Men
At some point after losing A, when I had begun to consider the possibility of dating again, I started to listen to the stories of others who had traveled that path before me.
A new start after 60: I was looking for a holiday after my husband died – and ended up with a job in Italy
At 67, Joyce Faulkner thought she was looking for a holiday. Her husband, Jim, had recently died and exploring possible house swaps on the Home Exchange website felt soothing. In the end, it was not a vacation Faulkner found but a job. She left her home in South Queensferry, just outside Edinburgh, to become mother’s help to seven-year-old twins in the northern Italian town of Varese. Now she is known as “La Babysitter” or simply “La Joyce.”
Grief in lockdown
As the UK adjusts to life under coronavirus lockdown, those who have recently lost a loved one can find being stuck at home, unable to get out and reach friends and family, extremely difficult. "Fifty-eight, widowed, lonely, locked-down, straitened, and fat - but NO ONE can take my kippers." That was the message from broadcaster and former pop star Rev Richard Coles as he marked his birthday with a picture of his breakfast on Twitter.
Going back to work after bereavement
Widows' experiences, good and bad.
Coping with grief at work: why moving on is the hardest job ever
I can’t remember much about returning to work after my husband Neil died. But then most things about those dark months remain a blur. Sometimes I was so bewildered I couldn’t find my way in, despite living minutes away. If I made it, I often stared blankly at a screen, telling anyone who challenged me where they should go, with no obscenity spared.
David and Henry
Podcast: Love is a Song That Never Ends
‘I don’t want what happened to my husband happening to anyone else’: the widow campaigning for gambling law reform
It was only after Annie Ashton’s husband Luke took his own life that she realised he had been gambling in secret – sometimes up to 100 times a day on his phone. She wants urgent changes to the way the betting industry operates
‘After His Death, I Didn’t Cook Anymore’: Widows on the Pain of Dining Alone
Widows share poignant stories of the pain and comfort that food can bring after a loved one dies.
We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it
In a talk that's by turns heartbreaking and hilarious, writer and podcaster Nora McInerny shares her hard-earned wisdom about life and death. Her candid approach to something that will, let's face it, affect us all, is as liberating as it is gut-wrenching.
Anything but scrambled eggs: how I learned to cook at 78
When my wife died, I had to cook for myself for the first time in over 50 years. But how would someone who had never seen a celeriac and didn't know you could peel a carrot handle his first dinner party?
My Wife Of 51 Years Died. Here's What I Learned About Grief That I Never Knew Before
I thought I was prepared for the death of someone I’d loved for more than half a century. I wasn’t. Even though the diagnosis came months before, and even as I’d watched the slow process of dying, when the moment of death came and Brenda took her last breath, I wasn’t prepared for the sudden quiet. And I wasn’t prepared for the continuing quiet.
She lost her husband in a tragic accident and then built a community of support that has reached millions
In 2005, Michele Neff Hernandez and her husband, Phillip, were enjoying the active life they built as a couple. But everything changed on a late August evening when Phillip went for a bike ride and was hit by a car and killed.
How Do You Cope? …with Elis and John - Reverend Richard Coles: ‘Our life is rounded by sleep’
Elis James and John Robins speak to Rev. Richard Coles about losing his husband David after a long battle with alcoholism, and how he’s dealt with the subsequent grief
Tim and I had a fairy story. We met in our early twenties at a youth prayer group. I had other commitments – a boyfriend called Paul – and Tim sighed gently, tucked the candle he held for me in his back pocket, and we became friends. We stayed friends through thick and thin. Through his troubled times. Through his diagnosis with type 2 diabetes and his hospital stay for a rather scary bout of acute pancreatitis. Through my marriage falling apart and my descent into depression. And finally, through my divorce.
Aimee's Story
I’m into year 8 of grief after suddenly losing Marky when I was 26. Marky’s death changed my sense of stability in this world and made my anxiety and panic huge. The world felt terrifying – bleak doesn’t even begin to describe it. For a long time, I barely left the house. Most days, my depression and agoraphobia anchored me to my bed. These days I no longer struggle with agoraphobia, and I even use my lived experience of it within my work.
Grief and transition: Losing Mandy and finding Maria
In February 2015, after seven years and two bouts of cancer, Mandy died. Over the following few years, her grieving spouse became able to claim their true self - Maria.
Loving Two Men
At some point after losing A, when I had begun to consider the possibility of dating again, I started to listen to the stories of others who had traveled that path before me.
A new start after 60: I was looking for a holiday after my husband died – and ended up with a job in Italy
At 67, Joyce Faulkner thought she was looking for a holiday. Her husband, Jim, had recently died and exploring possible house swaps on the Home Exchange website felt soothing. In the end, it was not a vacation Faulkner found but a job. She left her home in South Queensferry, just outside Edinburgh, to become mother’s help to seven-year-old twins in the northern Italian town of Varese. Now she is known as “La Babysitter” or simply “La Joyce.”
Grief in lockdown
As the UK adjusts to life under coronavirus lockdown, those who have recently lost a loved one can find being stuck at home, unable to get out and reach friends and family, extremely difficult. "Fifty-eight, widowed, lonely, locked-down, straitened, and fat - but NO ONE can take my kippers." That was the message from broadcaster and former pop star Rev Richard Coles as he marked his birthday with a picture of his breakfast on Twitter.
Going back to work after bereavement
Widows' experiences, good and bad.
Coping with grief at work: why moving on is the hardest job ever
I can’t remember much about returning to work after my husband Neil died. But then most things about those dark months remain a blur. Sometimes I was so bewildered I couldn’t find my way in, despite living minutes away. If I made it, I often stared blankly at a screen, telling anyone who challenged me where they should go, with no obscenity spared.
David and Henry
Podcast: Love is a Song That Never Ends
‘I don’t want what happened to my husband happening to anyone else’: the widow campaigning for gambling law reform
It was only after Annie Ashton’s husband Luke took his own life that she realised he had been gambling in secret – sometimes up to 100 times a day on his phone. She wants urgent changes to the way the betting industry operates
‘After His Death, I Didn’t Cook Anymore’: Widows on the Pain of Dining Alone
Widows share poignant stories of the pain and comfort that food can bring after a loved one dies.
We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it
In a talk that's by turns heartbreaking and hilarious, writer and podcaster Nora McInerny shares her hard-earned wisdom about life and death. Her candid approach to something that will, let's face it, affect us all, is as liberating as it is gut-wrenching.
Anything but scrambled eggs: how I learned to cook at 78
When my wife died, I had to cook for myself for the first time in over 50 years. But how would someone who had never seen a celeriac and didn't know you could peel a carrot handle his first dinner party?
My Wife Of 51 Years Died. Here's What I Learned About Grief That I Never Knew Before
I thought I was prepared for the death of someone I’d loved for more than half a century. I wasn’t. Even though the diagnosis came months before, and even as I’d watched the slow process of dying, when the moment of death came and Brenda took her last breath, I wasn’t prepared for the sudden quiet. And I wasn’t prepared for the continuing quiet.
She lost her husband in a tragic accident and then built a community of support that has reached millions
In 2005, Michele Neff Hernandez and her husband, Phillip, were enjoying the active life they built as a couple. But everything changed on a late August evening when Phillip went for a bike ride and was hit by a car and killed.
How Do You Cope? …with Elis and John - Reverend Richard Coles: ‘Our life is rounded by sleep’
Elis James and John Robins speak to Rev. Richard Coles about losing his husband David after a long battle with alcoholism, and how he’s dealt with the subsequent grief