Once we have lost someone close, subsequent losses can bring things back up to the surface.
My mum died in May 2011, and when my dad died in April 2015, it brought a lot of the grief for my mum back again. When Tim died in February 2018, it felt like I was grieving three people all at once. The way I have coped with this is by going back to the coping strategies from the early days. Taking one step, one moment, one breath at a time. Using grounding techniques. Being gentle with myself. And accepting that I am allowed to feel like this, and it will pass – I survived the day they died and I can survive this.
I was widowed at 50 when Tim, who I expected would be my happy-ever-after following a marriage break-up, died suddenly from heart failure linked to his type 2 diabetes. Though we'd known each other since our early 20s, we'd been married less than ten years.